Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
