Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
