i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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