I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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