OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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