Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
