My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
