remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hippo gnu deer
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
