I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
