We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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