just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
