Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
