I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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