i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
