Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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