I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
