I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
