I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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