I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just googled if crying burns calories
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
