Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize