they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
