Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
