Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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