all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
