My friends, they love my intelligence
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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