You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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