we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
