yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She even gives head with a lisp.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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