You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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