I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize