i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
