she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
