Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
one might say we're banned from that church
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
