at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
