Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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