he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just found puke in my bra..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
