and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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