I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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