We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
did i just pee glitter
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
