youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
