Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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