You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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