two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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