You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I intend to get homeless drunk
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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