So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
