at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
