You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
