We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
