He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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