So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
