Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
