So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
