What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize