also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sorry about my life...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize