gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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