I showed him my bush... on skype.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Randomize
