nut hugger
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
