Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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