why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He has the fingertips of a God
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