If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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