I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
