You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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