By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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