Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
