I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
