I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
